The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners:
- 1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating.
- 2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- 3. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- 4. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn’t get it.
- 5. Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- 6. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
- 7. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- 8. Karmageddon (n) It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious
- 9. Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
- 10. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
- 11. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
- 12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve
accidentally walked through a spider web.
- 13. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- 14. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
- Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an a-hole.