Washington Post’s Wordy Competition

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners:

  • 1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
    ideas from penetrating.
  • 2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
    financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  • 3. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  • 4. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
    who doesn’t get it.
  • 5. Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  • 6. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
  • 7. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  • 8. Karmageddon (n) It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really
    bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious
    bummer.
  • 9. Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
    only things that are good for you.
  • 10. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
  • 11. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
    they come at you rapidly.
  • 12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve
    accidentally walked through a spider web.
  • 13. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
    bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  • 14. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
    fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:

  • Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an a-hole.