Jay just sat there on the sea wall looking up at his ‘3 lucky stars’. The same stars had looked at for at least the past 28 years when he felt like he needed someone to confide in.
As to whether or not they were lucky, that was a matter of opinion. He just called them his ‘lucky stars’ after seeing them one night the first time he ran away from home, sitting in the middle of the field staring up at the sky hoping someone or something would take him away from ‘here’. And after 28 years, he still didn’t even know the name of the constellation. The only time he had trouble finding them was during the 2 years he lived in Australia working on what was supposed to be a long term project. On his first trip to the outback he had gone into the bush to answer the call of nature and away from the camp fire his eyes caught the magnificence of the display of stars. Being so far away from any form of light pollution, or even good old regular 20th century smog, there were stars visible that he had never send before. That was until he realized that the whole sky looked different and it took a long while for it to register that he was now in a different part of the hemisphere and that every star looked like he had never send it before. When he did notice his lucky stars, they appeared different to him, but it still brought a smile to his face. Once again he ‘thanked his lucky stars’ for giving him the opportunity to see them in such brilliance. One day he again promised himself that he would find out the name of the constellation, the same promise he had been making every year since he first saw them.
Not that when he was 7 years old laying in the field did he feel the way he did now, nor did he have any of the thoughts that now passed through his mind. It was just that things happened during his time growing up, throughout his college years and eventually when he married and settled down to bring up his two children. Events that just didn’t seem to be normal, to be fair, to happen to anyone else, these were the things that built up over the years and had started his quest to find out who he was, where he was, and why. For the last 4 years he had been searching the hardest for those answers, but the hardest part of the search was in trying to find him self. That would prove to be the most difficult part of his challenge. For in order for him to answer any of his questions, he had to find himself.
He had come back to Portsmouth where he and his wife first lived after marrying. This though had been the first time he had visited what used to be the area of the estate where they had their first flat together. He had been to Portsmouth a number of times but couldn’t face revisiting any place that brought back those memories. Leaving the sea behind him he walked the couple of hundred yards from the sea wall to what used to be the old Royal Navy and Marine married quarters estate. The shop at the entrance to what would have been the road they lived on was still there, but beyond that everything had changed. Where once stood a series of the most basic 3 storey flats that the Navy supplied to their ratings, was a rather expensive modern looking set of apartments over looking the marina and leisure area. He was sure he was standing at the location of where the flat was. In fact he knew he was there, he could feel it, and although he was still practicing the skill, he was sure he could see the entrance, the stairs to the 3rd floor where their flat was. He could smell the disinfectant that was used by the cleaners daily. Whereas previously he had been told by many of his doctors and professors that he was just recalling the memories, he now knew different. It would take time, but he was sure he would improve that skill, but how much time did he have?
